Just leave and live, but make sure to sort out your shit before leaving

January proved to be a messy month, but hopefully February will get better. I left again too fast, one week in Berlin was obviously not enough to solve my admin things there and now it all fires back. De-registration, cancelling contracts…finally giving up the lovely flat I fell in love with almost five years ago at the end of this month (that’s tomorrow). I haven’t been living there for the past two years now, it was sub-rented during this entire time, but since all the contracts were on my name up until now, it felt a bit as if there’s still a probability of going back. But not anymore. I’ve already decided, so no looking back.

But still…it was the best flat for me, it was my first home of my own, my space, my place. I sometimes miss the privacy, spending a whole day just by myself inside my flat, reading, listening to the birds singing in the inner garden, enjoying the sun while lying on the lovely red couch. I love being on the road, I love travelling, but I loved that flat also. If only my mind would not be caught up with so many contradictions all the time! And now all this bureaucracy…every company wants the cancellation to happen months before, they want letters with original signature (and my friends say that I’m old fashion for sending postcards to them!), they don’t reply to e-mails. And of course that everything is in German. Damn it…my German is so rusty.

Since I’ve already annoyed my friends complaining about this, I thought I should start complaining to the entire internet. Of course that I could have handled all this shit back in September or in October when I was still in Europe, I could have handled it even after I’ve left…I could have done it last month from Botswana, two months ago from Tanzania…I could have handled one small thing per week and now everything would be nice and smooth. After all, I knew since November that I’ll finish the contract at the end of January. But have I done any of that? No. Now it’s messy, I’m spamming my friends from Berlin asking for help and complaining about shit I should have done myself months ago. I would block my e-mail address if I were them. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it, but I seem to be fortunate enough to have very good and patient friends. They even send me occasional e-mails to remind me to get my shit together and stop postponing important things. Uh…”important” is such an important word!

This should be a lesson for future references. I can bet, though, that next time I’ll be in a similar situation, I’ll end up postponing it again until it gets completely messy and I can’t ignore it anymore. ”Of course! Your style.” my sister would say right now. She also had to solve all sort of things for me in Romania while I was in China.

No one likes bureaucracy, but unfortunately we all have to deal with it every now and then.

Ok…I’m done complaining for now. I’ll go lie on someone else’s nice couch, watch someone else’s TV, cook in someone else’s kitchen, listen to the birds in someone else’s inner garden. Do I really need a place of my own? Not really at this moment, I guess.

Home is where my backpack is.

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